March 2010
1 tag
perhaps
I would have thought that finding out that I was a stand-in for someone else wouldn’t be a surprise. I would have thought that I would expect such an unpleasant thing to happen. I was always the one who was just careful and pessimistic enough to always expect the worse. I was wrong, like clockwork. Discovering I was just holding someone elses place didn’t sting as much as your eyes...
3 tags
define: sane
Every now and then I have these overwhelming bouts of sanity and all I want to do is forgive and forget. I think about how easy it would be to brush whatever differences aside and start over. To look at you with no regret behind my lashes and smile at you without a heavy heart would be so relieving, like I could finally take a deep, unobstructed breath and just let it OUT.
But are these moments...
3 tags
find a safe place
Sometimes I’ll just watch peoples mouths as they speak. When I watch them, I don’t need to hear their voices anymore. Like their lips can tell me if they’re lying or not. Licking lips with uncertainty. Biting lips in anticipation. A smile that doesn’t ever reach their eyes.
I’ll make stories to go along with those mouths. Ones far more exciting and real than whats...
4 tags
lights out
I envy people with conviction. I hestitate from the moment I open my eyes and I always regret it. What is that?
Why am I fully aware of this flaw, yet stand by and do nothing about it? Fear. It all comes down to fear. I’m eternally afraid of making the wrong choice and being left open, vulnerable to life and to you. I am so afraid of putting both feet on the ground that I’ve grown...
3 tags
it's happening now
Life seems to throw wrenches at you and/or your plans sometimes, which I don’t believe are random at all. We make decisions that alter schedules which then can alter social lives and eventually alter friendships.
This seems like a fair explanation of recent (sort of) happenings. The decision I made that led to my social demise was to go to back to school full-time while still working 40+...
I don’t think I have ever listened to Band...
4 tags
3 tags
I guess we can categorize this as another one of my new beginnings. I can say that in the last 6 months my life has taken a series of ridiculous, heart-breaking, disappointing and exciting turns.
To say that I’ve experienced all negative things would be a lie, but not that big of one. Over these months I have weighed every thing/person/situation I deal with and tried to figure out where...
introductions
Hi. My name is Nina. I like reading, people-watching and Jeff Goldblum.
